Take It From The Top

OK. A trusted official in matters concerning my life consulted me and told me that this blog wasn't painting a completely accurate picture of me, or "the real me wasn't shining through", as she put it. You may or may not agree, but I thought for a minute and came to the conclusion that there is a whole other side that's been neglected, or NIGGlected, I should say.

Let me first inform you that I am white. As white as "A Miracle On 34th Street", Neil Diamond, and roasted turkey breast. But I do, for some strange reason, have the ability to tap into the psyche of black people, specifically black Americans, even more specifically, Niggas. You may have heard rumors that my mom is white and my dad is negro, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Here's a picture of my real pops, Abe Silverstein:



That's right. Not only am I white, but apparently I'm Jewish, too. Take that Farrakhan! Poppa Large, as I like to call him, didn't have time to raise me because of various white ventures and non-black dealings, so he left me with my mom, who had taken up with an old slave of his that he freed, Greg James. Serious. She now has a chronic case of Jung. Fever, but she's dealing with it. All joking aside, I'm white and will take you to court for defamation of character if you say otherwise. Holla!

Since I have this uncanny gift to tap into the "Souls of Black Folks", I'll try to incorporate that more into this blog. I don't want people to be all like "Wow, Micah is really into post-punk, synth-laden, overambitious new-wave from the early 80s...cool!" I'd rather hear [from whites], "I never knew that Micah had so much blue-eyed soul. I mean, how can he relate to such African-American institutions as Tyler Perry movies and the "Tootsie Roll" without being ironic?" or [from niggas] "It's either him or Timberlake." Score!

If you know me, you know that I love to have fun at the expense of others. If you don't know me, just know that I'm white. That's pretty much the core of my essence.

Let's get it re-crackin'.

Currently reading: The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
Currently listening: Magician's Holiday by The Gap Band

Micah,
Peace